Awkwardness

Ok.. So this was based on a matter 3 weeks ago? I guess...
I'm not sure, anyways... It started when a friend started to hug me I guess
Sure I liked to be hugged by them, but on the other hand people are wondering what is going on between us. So people started to ask my other friends.
It got up to the point where one of my friends who I talk most to said that he is becoming too clingy, so what resulted was he talking to him about the matter.
The next day, he just sopped hugging me.
Sure, I was aware of the talk they had, and even though I know I didn't want it to stop, it had too.. Since it wasn't good for the both of us i guess.. myself knowing that nothing will become more from us, but as well I didn't want to be stopped being hugged...
So it should have gone back to being petted on the head which was what happened before the hugging. But I guess when my friend talked to him, it went a bit too degrading... Since not he only pets me like once or twice a day rather than the 3-4 times a day... So i got a bit upset i admit.
Now though... It feels a but awkward between us... I don't know why, I guess its because we didn't have much to talk about besides the fact that he petted me everything which would pass the time.. I don't know...
What really stuck me though... was the fact he told my friend that he sees me as a little kid. Sure I am shorter, but I'm still older ... When my friend told me this, even though I told myself not to be affected much by it, it just shock me.. Cause I wanted to be treated on equal terms but still be petted. But instead I'm seen as a little kid. What am I suppose to act like now? Still act the same as before and continue to be treated as a little kid to them? What should I do. I don't know.. Its just really awkward for me... even though we do spend a bit of them after school. Something seems amiss now.. something that I don't want to lose, but it is breaking.

Too Much Hope

... Too much hope
Ok.. It is fine to hope, but to hope over the top is just a bit over...
I hoped that everyday my friend and I would meet after school along with my other friends.
Since this happened everything, I didn't think there was a day without it...
Ok fine.. today was the day...
It is 100% my mistake because I was waiting for them inside the room along with another friend.
At the same time, I didn't know that my friend along with my other friends were outside the room.
I should have checked outside to see if they were there, but I didn't.. since i thought they would come in, which they didn't in the end since I guess its because we got kicked out from the room for the past 3 days due to testing.
Yes its my fault, but what surprised me was how hurt I felt when I saw that friend leave the school.
I am aware of how i felt for them, but i didn't think that I have put so much hope into it that even a small mistake would hurt me like that.
I already promised myself many times that I wouldn't put too much hope into 1 person, but I failed to do it once again.
Even if I were to say to myself that I wouldn't put my hope in them again after this because I know there would be another misunderstanding again and I would get hurt in the end due to my mistake, I don't know what I want to do...
To put my hopes in them again, even if it wasn't there fault but mines.
To tell them that I was waiting for them inside, even though I don't want them to know how I feel.
I don't know what to do anymore...
Should I just continue on hoping? I know nothing more will come out of it.
Do I stop hoping? That will just change the way I act and it would get awkward.
I'm so confused... So tired of my decisions. I don't know what I should hope for anymore...
Cause if I hope again, I know I would get hurt like this again, so what can I do?