Holiday Story 1

Back when the mountains were colder and when winter would arrive right on Christmas; there was a boy named Red. Just like he name he loved the colour red, his room, his clothes and even his eyes and hair were red. He had a burning passion for snowboarding ever since his family moved to the mountain side. He especially loved when winter rolled around, the snow would be just right for his family to go snowboarding. Everyday, he would run out of the house with his red snowboard, sometimes he would even miss breakfast just to go snowboarding! As he grew older, instead of riding the bus down the mountainside to go to school, he would snowboard his way down. That way he would be able to bring his snowboard to school and he would not have to be late since he always got to school earlier than the bus. Sometimes May, his friend who was also a snowboarder would tag along with him. One day, school was closed due to a blizzard that was passing by the area. Red was stuck at home because of the blizzard and had nothing to do. He wanted to be outside but he couldn't because he mom told him that he might be blown away. Just then, his family got a call from a local who asked if May was at their home. His mom answered no and May's father said that if they see her to please let them know. Red's mom asked Red if he knew were May was and Red said no. Red was worried about May because May always had difficulty keeping her balance. When the snow lightened up, Red got up and went out to search for May. He searched for hours and was searching along their daily route to school before he heard his name being shouted. He looked around and saw May popping out of what seemed to be an igloo except it was not an igloo but a big lump of snow. Red rushed over and ask where she had gone to in which she replied that she had left home early the previous day to practice her balance; the wind eventually strengthened and she lost her balance and twisted her ankle. She then mentioned how she then built an igloo and without a phone, she had to stay there all night. Luckily, all the children on the mountain side were told to keep a lighter with them just in case a situation like this were to happen. Eventually, Red and May laughed at the journey May had and then Red helped May back to her home by carrying her on his back. When May's ankle healed, Red started to help May get back on her board and helped her practice, that way she would be able to accompany him to school everyday from then on.

Mall Renovations

Why are so many malls renovating this year?
Market Village is being demolished and to be replaced by Remington Centre set to open up in 2016.
http://www.remingtoncentre.ca/
Square One will have finally completed a $84M renovation on November 2013, meaning that you will actually be able to recognize the entrance to the mall!
http://www.shopsquareone.com/pages/sq1-development
Videos: http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=Hv07zNbQWW0
http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=h5Cdu1E9rEI

Erin Mills will soon begin their own $100 redevelopment in celebration of their 25th anniversary. (New Food Court will open FALL 2014).
P.S. If you haven't heard the clock tower is going to be replaced by a blue dorm (i call it a sphere)
http://www.erinmills.ca/redevelopment
Transformation Video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qZJUyX07fQA&feature=youtu.be
Lastly, Sherway Garden began their own $350 redevelopment in January 2013 (never been there, but I heard from a friend).
http://www.sherwaygardens.ca/en/Redevelopment/Pages/default.aspx

PLANNING SOMETHING I DON"T EVEN KNOW HOW TO PLAN

WHY AM I ONE OF THE HOST PLANNING THIS!!! AHHHHH TRYING MY BEST TO NOT GET INTO ANY ARGUMENTS CAUSE I DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO ACTUALLY PLAN ONE!!!! AND EVERYONE IS WONDERING ABOUT STUFF I WRITE OMG..... HELP PLEASE!!!!!!! I MEAN, I WANT THIS TO BE BIG BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT ELSE IS NEEDED FOR THIS BBQ PICNIC ASIDE FROM A BBQ GRILL & MEAT!!!!!. COME ON....... AND REALLY NOW. SOMEONE ASK IF THE EVENT IS ACTUALLY GOING ON AND I DO ALL THIS STUFF TO MAKE SURE IT HAPPENS THEN SHE SAID "LET ME KNOW THE FINAL DATE" DOESN'T THAT MEAN YOU WON'T HELP!!! HELLO!!!!!!! OMG WHY DID WE PLAN THIS EVENT IN THE FIRST PLACE. HOW COME WE DIDN'T CANCEL IT WHEN WE COULD!!!!!!!!!!! -FLIPS TABLE-

Ontario Scholars

Congraduations to the

91 from Applewood Heights
228 from Cawthra Park
127 from Erindale
220 from Glenforest
143 from Gordon Graydon
213 from John Fraser
28 from Lincoln M. Alexander
158 from Lorne Park
154 from Meadowvale
177 from Mississauga
36 from Peel Alternative North
six from Peel Alternative South
eight from Peel Alternative West
144 from Port Credit
238 from Rick Hansen
173 from Stephen Lewis
92 from Streetsville
54 from T.L. Kennedy
25 from West Credit
and 169 from The Woodlands

who graduated as Ontario scholars (students who got above an 80% average) this year

(Read this on Mississauga News)

Friends (July 7th)

Yesterday, I attended an early birthday party of a friend. Actually, it didn't feel like a party, more like a hangout with cake, movie, canada-o-poly, and 7 friends. At first, it felt awkward to be around them again since school already ended 1 week ago and I haven't seen them since. As well as the fact that I had a slightly difficult week the week before. However, I'm better now thanks to two of my friends who helped me and tried cheering me up in their own different ways. ^_^However, I do hope that one of my friends who  I plan to meet up and talk to this week is feeling better ; - ; He was really down last week and I wasn't able to talk to him. However, since he told me the reason why, I can understand why he wanted to be alone last week.

Back to topic, it was at first weird/awkward being around them but as the "party" progress and we got into canada-o-poly, I felt more free? (if that the word that could describe it) around my friends. I wonder if its just because I myself feel a freed from the situation I was in, or because I can be myself around them since I wrote some of them letters... I don't know......

Side note:
FINALLY GOT TO WATCH THE AVENGERS! It was a good movie to watch! Really liked it! For me, the best part was probably when the Hulk was playing around with Locke. There was also a lot of food there too... Some of us wished our friend who eats a lot was there for once, but sadly she is on a trip in Mexico.... She will be back soon though!

Back on topic... again.
For some reason, it never really hit me that this party might be the last time I'll see some of my friends again. It never really occurred to me, I just felt like we would still meet up even after we graduated. One of those friends being a very good friend of mines who I have known since grade 5. She is going to a university in Quebec, so I won't be able to see her till she comes back to visit D=. I hope she passes me her address, I want to be able to send her a Christmas gift! Same goes to my other two friends going to Waterloo.

Gifts:
That day was a fun day, got the birthday girl a USB which I know she will use for sure at Sheridan, (because her USBs now are 4/8GBS). Don't know... when I think of gifts, I think of gifts which the receiver would find very good use for in the future. Whether its a USB, a pouch for phone/ipod/DS/headphones/change, keychains, charms, books anything! The thing about gifts like chocolate, flower, sketchbooks, perfume, pens, anything that can be used within a short period of time I find that yes they are good gifts, but once it used it you can't use it again. However, gifts that can be reused can last for a long time and I guess will be cherished more? I don't know my mind of thinking was weird. That still doesn't stop the dream of getting a 3DS THOUGH, MUST GET ONE BEFORE OCTOBER!!!!

P.S. Something, I tried to keep track of during that party was how many times I said the words "I" & "me". Just as a reference. 

Cleaning Day 1

First day at cleaning up and organizing the computer table, my side of bedroom & guest/storage room. Started with the computer table... There were TOO MANY THINGS on that table! Started throwing things on the floor to organize them. I decided to change the water pearls that I used to plant a mini plant. Thought that 1/8 of a small bag would probably fill 1/2 of a fish paste container. I just left it there so that the pearls could expand. When I came back to look at them, the container was all full.... There were too many now!

So after cleaning up the computer table I moved everything that wasn't suppose to be on that table to my room. I stumbled upon a lot of really old work while I was cleaning up. Some dated back to grade 9, it was nostalgic to find some past works as I could see how I progressed over a series of 4 years. I also found some past class photos as well, one from grade 3 & 5. I never didn't think that some of my classmates that I had this year would have been in my class back 9 years ago. Some changed a lot while some looked like they didn't change much. Otherwise, I only got to cleaning up the bookshelf in my room. Started moving all the art supplies from my bedroom to the guest/storage room (soon to be work room in October) for next year I suppose. Will continue clean up tomorrow!

I also somehow developed an allergy? or something to dust, sneezed a lot while I was cleaning.

Question about how to judge someone

Ok, I just realized something. Yes, you heard from a close friend of yours that I am attention hungry and you ask me whether its true or not. I will say yes, I am regardless on if its true or not based on what happened. If its in the letter, truth is when I wrote it I never meant it to be pure attention-seeking. However, I didn't seem to look at it that way till I was told that It was attention seeking. However, whether or not I am attention seeking it is up to the person asking. Your friend, yes they see me as attention seeking, however there are others who say it is not. I simply said yes because in that moment, whether I said yes or not it probably wouldn't have worked out in my favor. It is up to you to see me as attention seeking or not, you must observe it first-hand experience it before making that decision. To your friend, I am truly sorry again for what was in the previous letter. It wasn't something I should have given out and yet it was passed out and I really regret ever writing it.

Isolation

So.... isolation was something that I did back when I was young. It wasn't a bad thing, i just wanted to be alone. Before, it was because of a stupid reason like my friends didn't seem to care about me so I wasn't sure if they were my friends or no because they were able to play happily with the person who hurt me. It was for a selfish reason I know.

This time I'm isolation myself for a different reason? It know because I think that my friend didn't care about me its more on my attention hungry problem..... I don't usually take in compliments from people because I know I would get it in over my head.... This year it seemed I was more attention hungry near the end of the year which didn't go well with my friends. I guess i'm isolation myself to revert myself back i guess to the state where I was more independent on myself..? Yes, I know there are people who do care for me and would be there for me when I needed someone. However, I don't want to go to them so much that I end up depending on them and their attention to my problems. I mean, I can't always depend on other right? I need to depend on myself sometimes too.

Like I know my attention seeking grew because I did receive attention from people and I got that in over my head and I tried to ask for the same attention near the end of the year. However, I was stuck in the past and couldn't admit reality.

I asked for more attention that I could give to other people and that was a mistake.

Answer to question

I got asked a question and I don't think I answered it truly until I came up with this answer. The question was how come I don't lock everything inside of myself and rarely show emotion.

The answer to that I can't of anything else except that its because I'm a visual artist. Like yourself who pours all your emotions into ever song you play, I pour my emotions into the artworks I create. However, to be an artist what I have seen in common with my fellow artist are that they are expressive as a person. As an artist like myself if I was t as expressive as I was I would be able to creat the artworks that I make. What I create reflection the emotions that I stumble upon and that's the emotion I pour into my artworks. If I locked everything inside of me, I don't think I would be able to create the artworks I would have created. 

I am very thankful that there is someone like you who I can talk to, however like I mentioned I think it's best if I am left alone for a while. 

It's already too late for this. Final letter

First of all, I sincerely want to apologize to you. What I wrote in that letter I admit it was pure attention seeking. I realized that the feelings I poured into that letter were the memories I had when you did give me a lot of attention. I was stuck in the past and couldn't face reality. It's not something I should have written but it was written and you read it. You probably won't accept my apology and that fine, I kinda figured you would hate me after reading something which was made up of my selfish self. I want to be able to write one final letter though. I will try my absolute best to not put any attention seeking into it.

Dear -------,

You are a great guy you know. Yes, you are blunt sometimes but being blunt doesn't always have to be a bad thing. It gets people to realize their mistakes and they can change themselves for the better. You are also very hardworking as well, you would always clean up the music room after school by yourself even if the teacher said that the class should help ( which they didn't at all). Even though it took time you made sure that everything was put back in order for the next day. The music teachers are really lucky that there is someone as hard working as you in the music program and they are glad you signed up for both music courses as well for next year. Library wise, you are helpful for the library, even though your shift are done and someone else is there, you would still stick around and help out in anything that needs to be done around the library. Last would be anime club? You sure watched a lot of animes that is for sure. I wish you the very best in grade 12 and again I am truly sorry that you read that horrible ridiculous 1st letter I wrote to you. I should have never decided to give you that is the first place but I did and I am sorry that you had to read that part of my mind. Getting to know you has helped me realize just how attention seeking I can really get and that is something that I need to change. As I mentioned to a friend that is suppose to pass along the message. You will hopefully never hear from me again, you won't hear my annoying cat noise, nor will you ever see my attention seeking self again.  I know this letter is probably too late but like I said many times. I am sincerely sorry and I will be forever sorry that you got involved in my selfish self.


Sincerely,
Jessica Lui

Expressing (Crying my heart out = no)

Another what people will see as attention seeking, Very Sorry.
Not sure if this is correct in my mind... but for some reason  I can't fully cry my heart out, even though I really do want to cry really bad I can't.
1. I don't want my family to worry
2. I don't want my friend to hurt another friend
3. Its attention seeking isn't it?

I cried a lot in the past I guess because I got hit by my tutor when i was small, I went sent to the hall for being too curious and being a trouble maker. I was a crybaby...... I don't know when it started, but at one point someone told me to spot crying at every little thing that upsets me. So I stopped, and only cried (fully) during those times when I kept everything bottled up and it got so full, I just couldn't help it but cry. I would cry and I wouldn't be able to explain the reason I was crying because they were already in the past and I probably would be told to forget about it cause its all in the past. But I can't, I can't seem to forget the bad things that happen to me that makes me upset. So after that I just stopped crying my heart out because there would be no point if what I cried about was in the past... However, when I cry I stop myself from crying everything out because it would just be a bother to people right?

Attention Seeking

Ok... So this is probably attention seeking already (mistake 1) . Mistake 2: my 3rd time being told that I'm attention seeking so I think I'll just reflect back it for a while and retrace my steps. (if I sent you thing, I am very sorry, you honestly don't have to read it...... And I am very sorry if this ticks anyone off.). 

P.S Whoever reads this, I promise you it will get you mad but where else can I express myself freely without stopping, I'll just blow off the rest of the "attention seeking" trait I have left within me in this.

I have met many friends over the past year, someone who are attention seeking themselves so I don't know if being friends with them was a factor. But I guess it may have been... But I guess its because I see that they are attention seeking and they DO in the end receive the attention they want even though I try not to but for some reason I end up being the one who is the one wanting attention but getting the wrong sort of attention.

First friend, is a close friend? of mine who is really lazy and rarely does her homework till the last minute. At first, I would give her my attention and keep consistently reminding her of assignments that are due so that she would be able to hand it in on time. Halfway through the year, I guess I did sort of give up reminding her of things because I knew that she would hand in homework late anyways but still get a good mark. I guess I wouldn't say I got influenced by her but maybe I did? But what I got from her was the mind saying that I should remind people of their homework if it affects me as well (yearbook). I don't know... I wouldn't say I am jealous at her because of the attention she is able to get because of the way she is, but...... Ok, yes I am jealous at her because she is able to get the attention she wants just by consistently complaining about things or like screaming about something on facebook and she is able to get attention from friends she knows and friends who I know as well.

Second friend, she is in my class.... she is.... very... touchy with people.... but she is always able to get a response from the person who she wants it from. She could be able to cling onto someone and they would give her their attention, whether its for a hug, pet, tickle anything she is able to get it. I am really amazed that she is able to get the attention she wants without anyone telling her to stop. Like I mean, she can just walk into some group's practice, disturb the group AND get attention from the person she wants it from. Its something I have rarely see happen. I am jealous of the fact that she can get attention without being told stop or anything.

Third friend, he is very.... sensitive to comments from people, he is better now because he is in a group who (wants him in his group?) now. Ok before, he was attention seeking trying to get things his way and ignoring others, or complaining but he got better. I'm not particularly jealous of him, but I guess its because he and I are attention seekers that I would still talk to him even if people don't like him.

Last person would probably be the person who I seemed to have wanted attention from for a while. I was stuck in the past, in the past I would get attention from you a lot and I admit I did like it. However, Its gone now so I know I won't be receiving any attention from you anymore. I'm very sorry that I mad you so angry.

I guess I should talk about why I became attention seeking then shouldn't I?.

Ok, I wanted to leave an impression in school. whether it was in clubs, sports, or my friends I wanted to leave some sort of impression on them. It felt like the only impression I made before this year was the fact that I was small and people didn't know I was graduating this year and say "oh, your in grade 12?!? really?!?!" I wanted at least people to know that I was graduating and that since I've been at school for 4 years, I could give them advice on high school or anything they may find hard and don't know who to ask. I guess my height did give me an advantage because I seemed approachable and people did talk to me and ask me about question about courses, events because its their 1st time experiencing it. I wanted to share my knowledge I guess to people so that they would know what to expect/do. That's why I tried my hardest in my clubs/sports so that they would see me as a friend & a senior, instead of a little girl who look like a grade 9. At the end of the year, it did feel like I was able to graduate while leaving an impression on people. Like how my seniors knowing that their juniors would be able to talk to them even after they graduate.

PAST
I was spoiled by attention in the past, yes. Because I was called small, cute I got attention from my group of friends and they would know when I am upset, happy. There was the time where I did isolate myself because of a bad relationship and no one seemed to care about how I was, and would happily be playing with the person who hurt me. (Ok, so Its my fault because I didn't open myself about it). But I thought that if they knew that I was sad before they would know when I am sad. However, I learned that that wasn't the case, and that if I wanted to let someone know how I was feeling I should open up to them instead of locking all those feelings instead of burdening myself.

I suppose this was the start of the cat noises.... yes I admit I used them sometimes to get attention from people, but other times I use them when I see someone who is down and I wanted to know what was wrong so that I could possibly help them. However, it seemed I have overused it for the worse this year. I guess the way I act is the same..... yes some of my actions I used to get attention because I didn't want to openly look like I wanted attention and be hated upon. However, it seemed like this backfired too, I silently acted to see if I would get attention but that didn't turn out right either. So I sort of tried semi-looking like I wanted attention and fair enough karma strikes and people told me that I was looking for attention and that I should stop.

But, I try to give people my attention as well, I talked to people whenever I can and if I can get them to smile I would do anything to make them happy, even just popping up and talking to them. If it makes them happy, i'll be glad to do it. I guess I did feed some attention seekers my attention too for example the 3 friends I mentioned on top. I just thought that If I gave them attention, they will be happy and they would talk to me. However that wasn't the case.

Ok, so now whoever reads this may wonder why I don't just don't stop looking for attention and keep everything to myself until a certain someone comes that I would be able to talk to about everything. Ok, yes I could do this, however that someone will not always be there. They have other friends too who they hang out with. They can't be there for you 24/7 because they have their own friends they probably would want to hang out with or something they want to talk about as well. I can't seem to rely on one person because I know they won't be there forever, so maybe I should open up to others as well or just isolate myself.

I went along the path of opening up to others. I wanted people who I could talk to and who I could trust, so I opened up to people and they opened up to me. Here is the thing.... yes, I have more people who I talk to now. However there are some people who I see want attention from me which I give them and then when I talk about myself, they would direct the conversation back to them. Somewhere along the lines, I ended up being the one who wanted more attention.

I guess if opening up to people will only get me to want more attention, acting "cute", complaining, silently waiting on attention, openly looking like I was attention are all mistakes. Then I guess I should isolate myself and go back to square one. I'll try my best, but after years of a lot of attention from people... Its really hard to but if it would make people happy, I guess I'll do it...

I will continue to give people my attention and if they ask about me I would talk to them about myself. But I don't want to direct the attention on me if it will make people hate me.

Honestly though

What I'm jealous of the most is the fact that there are people on facebook/twitter & by their actions who are able to freely express themselves and people would give them the attention they want. Where as, I make an attempt to express myself, whether it posting my timetable on facebook, talking about the past which others can relate to. However, in the end I'm told I am an attention seeker and I go back to commenting on other people's statuses and giving them my attention knowing that if I were to freely express myself, I wouldn't get the same attention.

I know that by writing this, I'm pointing myself as an attention seeker but I just wanted to express whatever is on my mind without interruptions. In my mind, a conversation is exchanging information between two parties, however is one person is the one providing information more than the other. Then it turns out that person is an attention seeker. I pasted that point within the past year and I am truly sorry if I made it so that I was the only one talking the most.

Its really hard for me to not have a conversation without directing the spotlight on me, but I can try... after I isolate myself. Ironically, I did this back before when I realize that yes there are friends who do care about me, but they can't be there forever, they have their own lives and friends who they want to spend time with. So I should depend on myself rather than others if I end up wanting to get their attention.

Conclusion I was really happy to know that I was of some help at least to my juniors, but I guess that's the end of that. I don't want to get their attention if its just me wanting them to talk to me after I graduate. I can't be like my senior who has a junior always talking to them exchanging information because I probably would in the end direct the attention to myself. So, I guess I'll save them from that. My teacher said I was a leader this year, but I guess I got that too over my head and ended up wanting more attention. In the end, it didn't turn out that well.

Its ironic really, I can't really do anything on anything "social" now because I'm worried that I would be called an attention seeker again. Even this post itself, I know its me being attention seeking, but what can I do? Where can I express myself freely without being told that I am an attention seeker? Friend? I'm scared that they would get bored of me talking if it ends up with me wanting the attention rather then equally giving them attention.

I am really really sorry if I made anyone mad/angry because of this post, even this post itself is attention seeking I know. I am very sorry, I just.. wanted.. to express what is going on in my mind? Can't I do that at least? I'm not asking anyone to read it. I just posted it, I'm not asking anyone to read it.

I am very... negative at times when it comes to this topic. If someone were to say I am attention seeking I would say I am regardless on whether or not I really did do something for the attention. I think I just trust people too much maybe sometimes and that is why whatever they say about me I would think its true (when its negative) anyways. If they say I am an attention seeking too much I would agree and I would blame myself for it, regardless on whether or not I actually did do something just for the attention. I guess I don't want to say the person telling me I am attention seeking is wrong because if I were too.. then I am already seeking attention by denying it. So I'll just accept it and say its my fault and hopefully drop the matter before it gets any worse and I actually seem to be wanting attention. However, now it seems that everything I do I am doing it for attention. Expressing myself here, walking to pick up my brother, talking to a friend about meeting up everything seems to me like I am the one asking for attention. 

Blast from the Past: Grade 12

Last Day, Lets just get this over with!

Day 12, Day 12 FINALLY!!

Grade 12..... The last year I'm at Rick... I'm going to miss this school T_T All the teachers who taught me, all the events, archery, all the volunteering I've done in the library, and all the friends I made regardless of if they are my juniors are not. I will greatly miss this school, however I'll always come back to visit ;D (I have way too many reason to come back to visit!) So you'll see me around! (whether you like it or not!) Grade 12 was....... well its not done yet there is just 3 days left of it!! But overall, grade 12 has been...... very unique if I were to describe it. I don't think I'll ever experience what I have experienced this year again!!! This year there were ups and downs (Don't know which one was more). I really loved being in Yearbook & Small Ensembles!!! I'm for sure going to visit both classes again next year!!! (Just let me know when and I'll drop by when I can!!) I wanted to leave Rick hoping I left an impression, not sure if I've done it yet Good Luck all my fellow grade 12s as they move on to Uni/College & Good Luck to my fellow friends/classmates at Rick next year!

Overall the past 12 years of my learning life has had their ups and their downs, however each year helped me grow (not physically) as a person. It doesn't stop here though. When this story ends, another story begins and I'm curious as to what Uni will bring me!

Blast from the Past: Grade 11

Tomorrow is the last!
Day 11 Grade 11

This year was probably the "starting" year for many things. I made a whole bunch of new friends, some whom I am good friends with still! Grade 11 was very fun probably my 1st or 2nd best year so far! I really really liked my grade 11 year! If I could repeat any year, for now I would repeat grade 11. I think in grade 11 I started to stay at school longer than usual. Usually I would leave right after school, however starting in grade 11 I started going to school earlier and leaving later. Guess I really started to like school in this grade.

Its funny cause I'm actually typing this while I'm at school XD.
Alright tomorrow is the last day! Grade 12!

Blast from the Past: Grade 10

Almost there......
Day 10 Grade 10

Clubs! Sports! VOLUNTEER!!!
Grade 10 was probably the "starting" year for me. I started to volunteer at the library (best volunteer place ever!!!). Joined Archery Club (Best Sport ever!!) & Anime Club!!! (BEST CLUB EVER!). Both of which are supervised by an awesome teacher!!!! I made a lot of new friends because of those and it was really fun! I learned a lot too! Now... what can I remember from Grade 10... well It was the only year in my high school where I got above an 80% in English? ..... Hmm I befriended more grade 12s than grade 11s..... Don't know why..... hmmm..

Blast from the Past: Grade 9

Moving on to Grade 9

Day 9 Grade 9

New to Rick I had no idea what on earth was happening... I didn't join any clubs/sports at all because I wasn't listening to the announcements and I had no idea where I could find clubs I would like to join. I always wonder why I never took all academic courses and instead took applied Sci & Geo, but i guess I wanted to observe how each side worked. I never really understood what on earth happened in french because my teacher was gone one time this week for 3 straight days and the day she comes back she gives us like 6 pages of homework and then said she is off to a meeting...... Other than that I don't think anything else was interesting. I literally left school right when the bell rang at 3:10 and no one would be able to catch me when I started to walk home....

Blast from the Past: Grade 8

Day 8 Grade 8 (I think?)

Ok, Grade 8 wasn't the best year i ever experienced.... I got into the process of the whole "overthinking & thinking whenever i'm bored" thing. But overall, the majority of of grade 8 was..... a learning experience as said by someone else and I agree with that, grade 8 I learned a lot. The fun things i probably remember was that my teacher was into Cats too!!! So I gave her a copy of a cat drawing I did! Also that was the year Kestrel's won so we got to go to Playdium!!! (Better than nothing) Something I kinda look back on is probably the fact that I didn't properly say goodbye to some friends who I don't talk to anymore. But I'll try to say proper goodbyes this time around

Blast from the Past: Grade 7

Day 7 Grade 7

What did we even learn in french... honestly I only remember that from the middle of the school year on we were free to do anything last period..... Something funny from grade 7 was probably how Mr.Jordan drove through a snowstorm to school without knowing that school was cancelled XD I thought it was hilarious. Grade 7.... was.... interesting..... that's basically it.

Blast from the Past: Grade 6

Day 6 Grade 6

Had to leave Edenrose because they wouldn't teach grade 6s D=. Fallingbrook was... FAR (... not anymore) I had to ride a bus then and in my mind riding a bus anywhere was far... I didn't have the nicest.... bus driver..... they kept switching our driver cause they would either leave to early or they never came at all.... Anyways, school wise, I was for some reason in a classroom full of gifted students...... No idea still why I wasn't in that class but ok.... I call myself a "scapegoat" for that class, but it was fun! I met really intelligent people in that class whom I am sure will each make a different in the world!! I had two teachers for that grade for my homeroom and they would switch places each day, I really liked the one who taught me art! Grade 6 was also the year I started to get into Anime.... and well it changed me.... but other than that, it was all good. Befriended friends in the class whom some i don't talk to a lot anymore. But I wish them the very best at Uni/College!

Blast from the Past: Grade 5

Day 5 Grade 5 (GRADUATING YEAR AT EDENROSE!)

I remember quite a bit from grade 5. One being that fact that our teacher was on a leave for QUITE a while so we switched teachers ALOT, every day was different, then it was every week, then we stayed with one teacher in the end (he ended up being the principal of that school after LOL). He was an amazing teacher!!! 2nd thing I remember was Challenger! each class was an ancient civilization and we would compete every month to win, it was fun! I enjoyed the Endurance challenge! My class won in the skipping while every one else failed in like 5mins XD. 3rd was probably NARUTO!!!! WHY DID WE EVEN PLAYING THE ROLE OF NARUTO CHARACTER?!?!??!? Like majority of our class was involved... WHY WAS I HINATA?!?!?!??!?! WHY?!?!?!? Anyways, grade 5 was the best year from Edenrose, I had a lot of fun and I met a friend who I plan to keep in contact with even after high school!!!

Blast from the past: Grade 4

Day 4 Grade 4 (getting tired)

So... I go the same teacher that I got in grade 1... the one who likes to send me to the halls cause i was a curious child..... Somehow, she was really really nice to me this time around..... It was almost scary..... almost..... Only things I remember was that I failed at Tag cause I would ALWAYS be stuck on the T-O places for the longest time & the Medieval thing.... ... Never really liked the idea that i had to wear a dress for the "lunch" cause i was a "Lady" rank. and I HAD to wear one to that lunch unless I wanted to be the last one to get food.... .... Odd year.... 1 MORE YEAR TILL I move on to Middle School!

Blast from the past: Grade 3

Day 3 Grade 3

Anyone from Edenrose remember the big pod class that was behind the stage? I had an awesome time in that classrooms, the teacher would always give us sweets if we got a good mark on a test and there would be other kids from other classes too coming and showing their tests to our teacher for free candy. I really got into sour watermelons because of that class XD. It was so distracting though because there were two classes in that pod and each teacher was teaching different things and we could hear each other from both side of the classroom. What I remembered from that grade was probably that I lost a watch on the 1st day of school, the end of the year party where everyone was dancing to some next artist which was famous then (not sure if its was Britney Spears or Hilary Duff... o well) and I found like 4 boys hiding under the line of tables like they were scared of all the girls dancing and yelling like crazy. It was a good year, had my ups and down.

Blast from the past: Grade 2

Grade 2

...Why.... why did I get a D in math .... I mean HOW?!?!??!?!
Grade 2 was one of those years which I didn't want to remember well because well.. I wasn't very interesting... I found it difficult to have students in my class that I didn't have in grade 1. So it was new to me since I wasn't ready for a change of friends... I don't actually know what happened in grade 2 because not really happened much....... It was such a boring year =_=

Blast from the Past: Grade 1

Grade 1

I transferred to Edenrose as a new student, I made friends who I may or may not still talk to now. I found it strange because I didn't know how to sing O Canada and everyone else was singing it around me and I didn't know what to do. Otherwise, it was an.... interesting year.. filled with me being sent into the hallways......for being such a curious little girl. The only thing I can actual remember from Grade 1 would probably have been the butterfly project we did, raising caterpillars to be butterflies was a fun experience and I enjoyed watching them grow. I actually wonder how they are right now.

At my limit

I swear I'm at my limit..... I already 1/2 broke down once today...... I don't want to again....... Why... why... why
I'm at my limit on how much pain I can cause myself in my emotions......

Trying to get this in my head

Just a simple blog of repeated lines, need to get this stuck in my head.

He has someone he likes.
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes
He has someone he likes

The one he likes is the one he tried to save from falling but failed
The one he likes is the one he tried to save from falling but failed
The one he likes is the one he tried to save from falling but failed
The one he likes is the one he tried to save from falling but failed
The one he likes is the one he tried to save from failing but failed

The one he likes could also be the one from club
The one he likes could also be the one from club
The one he likes could also be the one from club
The one he likes could also be the one from club
The one he likes could also be the one from club
The one he likes could also be the one from club

Yah, well I've been trying since Saturday to get the fact that the one I like has someone he like's as well. How I may know this is because one of their close friends said that he tried to save someone from falling off a chair but failed bad. You don't usually see this often. So I guess I was heartbroken, but at the same time I knew that it was bound to happen. If you wait too long for something, but the time you come face to face with it, you would have missed your chance. This is exactly what happened. Sure this information is uncertain, but in my mind I am trying to making it a fact that he has someone he likes and that I may know that person. As well, I will never stand a chance against them.

You really love to crush my hopes don't you......

Seriously... just seriously.....
You CLEARLY Stated that button designs were due ON THURSDAY!!!!
Its clearly Friday and we already started to vote on button designs, and YET you are allowing someone else to enter their design at the last minute. WHY?!?!!
Sure I know she was the ex-president but still please be fair Miss. You stated voting started TODAY and already 14 people voted YET, you cleaned the slate off clear just to add someone else because she is your friend. DEADLINES ARE DEADLINES!!!!
Well Thanks, you just broke another thing I was hoping that I would be able to be happy for. Having my design was something I was looking forward to since none of my designs were ever chosen at this point, and you just cleaned it off and added another choice. Oh and should I mention that the NEW option you added has 5 votes already, while the ONE design I had with 7 is now down to 1. Thanks, that was really helpful. I Don't even freakin know if this will be the final design. It wasn't even created by a student from school so what gives. Can we just resume back from where we were, seriously. You may THINK that its because I was winning and maybe thats part of it, but THINK ABOUT IT! You just made it completely unfair to the other people who designed as well and got a vote for these, not its swept clean.

P.S. check out who is voting for the new one... You, the designer, her friend, our friend and some else who is also friends with the designer as well. Great, love the bandwagon, now can we just move on to vote for a button design that was DESIGNED by someone in the club CURRENTLY?!?!?! PLEASE!!!

Finding the right path

Ok, so I have trouble figuring put where I want to go. What I love to do and where I want to go I'm not sure if they will work out with each other. What I love to do? I don't really know anymore. But I know I would like to be useful to people, I love to help people out whenever I can, If I would I would people be more organized and set them on the right track even though I'm not on one myself. Where I want to go is somewhere where I will have freedom and in what I. Yes, probably because I was rejected from a program I wanted to get into I lost the motivation to keep going. I guess I would need to think about where I want to go, but my time is running out. If I want to repeat a year, I would have to convince my parents to let me stay back which is highly impossible since they want me to go to a University already. But what if I don't like it. I know that probably when I come out of that university I probably won't like what I'll be doing. I'm just so confused on what I want to do right now. What I love to do and where I want to go are two different things and these things are what are confusing me.