Thursday, 4 July 2013

Expressing (Crying my heart out = no)

Another what people will see as attention seeking, Very Sorry.
Not sure if this is correct in my mind... but for some reason  I can't fully cry my heart out, even though I really do want to cry really bad I can't.
1. I don't want my family to worry
2. I don't want my friend to hurt another friend
3. Its attention seeking isn't it?

I cried a lot in the past I guess because I got hit by my tutor when i was small, I went sent to the hall for being too curious and being a trouble maker. I was a crybaby...... I don't know when it started, but at one point someone told me to spot crying at every little thing that upsets me. So I stopped, and only cried (fully) during those times when I kept everything bottled up and it got so full, I just couldn't help it but cry. I would cry and I wouldn't be able to explain the reason I was crying because they were already in the past and I probably would be told to forget about it cause its all in the past. But I can't, I can't seem to forget the bad things that happen to me that makes me upset. So after that I just stopped crying my heart out because there would be no point if what I cried about was in the past... However, when I cry I stop myself from crying everything out because it would just be a bother to people right?

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