Isolation

So.... isolation was something that I did back when I was young. It wasn't a bad thing, i just wanted to be alone. Before, it was because of a stupid reason like my friends didn't seem to care about me so I wasn't sure if they were my friends or no because they were able to play happily with the person who hurt me. It was for a selfish reason I know.

This time I'm isolation myself for a different reason? It know because I think that my friend didn't care about me its more on my attention hungry problem..... I don't usually take in compliments from people because I know I would get it in over my head.... This year it seemed I was more attention hungry near the end of the year which didn't go well with my friends. I guess i'm isolation myself to revert myself back i guess to the state where I was more independent on myself..? Yes, I know there are people who do care for me and would be there for me when I needed someone. However, I don't want to go to them so much that I end up depending on them and their attention to my problems. I mean, I can't always depend on other right? I need to depend on myself sometimes too.

Like I know my attention seeking grew because I did receive attention from people and I got that in over my head and I tried to ask for the same attention near the end of the year. However, I was stuck in the past and couldn't admit reality.

I asked for more attention that I could give to other people and that was a mistake.